Author Note Dark Romance

 

Greetings; this is a note from the author.

The intention behind this series is primarily about mental health.

To strike conversations, encourage people to get help and to maybe catch someone before they take their own life or others.

I am a child sex abuse survivor, cult survivor, and sexual abuse & rape survivor,

I have been shamed by my sister for surviving rape. “Are you sure you were raped?” -she said.

So, I want to help others speak up, get help, and heal as much as possible. Because I know you can never truly heal from it. It’s a wound that appears to be healed on the surface but can reopen like its fresh.

Sarah is supposed to be the embodiment of PTSD and bipolar depression.

Kanye is supposed to be the embodiment of trust issues, a victim of oppression, and has a hero complex.

Jabbar is supposed to be the embodiment of sexual repression, sexual frustration, and the sexual pressure men & women feel from peers.

When it comes to Sarah and Jabbar, Sarah is written to have been sexually awakened early due to childhood sexual assault.  The cult she was raised in made her suppress any sexual feelings she was having; they told her she would be killed by god for allowing herself to feel those sexual feelings.

So she learned how to adapt and learned to become only a friend to men; she believes she is and always will be seen as just a friend and is not attractive so she’s shy about her body.

Sarah does know what sexual assault is; she makes the pirates know she doesn’t want that stuff and refuses, and when Jabbar over-stimulates her, she removes him.

She is conflicted in her mind, wanting to be loved but torn between her past, present, and possible future.

Jabbar doesn’t understand fully what he is doing; he doesn’t know how to calm down sexually. His family would do sexual things in front of him all his life to try and get him to do things with his own harem.

Which is where he gets his basic idea of sexual playing/ romance.

His behavior stems back to his mother; she wanted to be loved by Jabbar’s father, who rejected her for her body, so she killed herself.

This hurts Jabbar profoundly, and when he finally finds someone he cares for, his mind twists his upbringing, his world, and his trauma into his actions. He doesn’t want Sarah to think she is rejected for her body and for her to kill herself like his mother did.

Jabbar does release her when he sees her crying, and he shows concern for her well-being throughout their interactions.

I do not condone or wish to romanticize sexual assault.

How Jabbar and Sarah progress in the story as the story between them continues is how I felt the two characters would interact with each other with their traumas, mental states, and personalities.

Please remember it’s okay to talk and seek help from a professional or an excellent non-judgmental friend or family member.